Compassion: a reflection

Image: Alec Kondush

Age has granted me the clarity needed to comprehend something that has plagued my understanding since I was very young. Even as a six-year-old I remember watching people hurt. I remember watching those hurt people turn away and push away those people they longed to be close to.

I understood, as a teenager, that the reason for this was primarily fear of rejection. Never short on hubris, or words, I have attempted to open their eyes to the fact that they hold the power to end their own pain and the pain of others by reaching out to them. I have achieved varying degrees of success, understandably. I need people to understand that they can change everything by turning toward people and sharing their fears and passions. That by sharing our fears and passions we open the floor to others to do the same, bolstering them by our courage.

What age has finally granted me is the knowledge that reaching out to others when one is afraid requires a profound amount of courage that most people cannot summon. And, that when a person (of any age) can and does summon the courage, one must act to recognize it for what it is, no matter the outcome.

Community Support Makes All the Difference

Who do you call if you need help moving a couch or a bed frame? Where do you turn if you need to pay a bill before your first paycheck comes in? Who do you call for advice if you have trouble with a landlord or roommate? Most of us call parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or siblings. Many of us have a best friend, coworker, or neighbor we’ve known long enough to form a relationship with, at least.

When you grow up in foster care, or just with negligent parents, the answer is different. Many of those family or otherwise long-term relationships that build social capital are torn asunder. Regardless of the cause, when a person moves frequently, they don’t have the opportunity to build long-lasting relationships in their community. This leaves them even more isolated than we might expect them to be.

Well, Oregon is reaching out to the helpers in their state to offer a helping hand to those we know need it. Their magnificent new idea in social innovation is called My Neighbor. It’s an online clearinghouse of volunteers who are ready, by phone or text, to offer support to foster youth in their community. They call it an “Emergency Response System” and it is already changing the outcomes for young people in and out of foster care.

Have a truck? You could volunteer to make a life-changing delivery of a bed to a foster youth’s first independent apartment.

Do you have a car? You could drive a young person to an opportunity-presenting interview.

Maybe you could tutor a young person hoping to pass a class or graduate. Maybe you could provide a much-needed bag of diapers and baby supplies to a struggling new parent. Maybe you could just donate a little money so that the organization can meet the emergency needs of a youth that calls in.

Imagine being the person that stops the initial event that would have led to a downward spiral?

When I was young, I had no one to call for help. I didn’t have the money to buy new brake pads for my car, so I drove on worn ones until the brakes stopped working. Then I walked. I lost my car, and then my job because of the cost of a pair of brake pads. It was four years of hard work before I was able to purchase another car, with the help of a friend’s parent. That single loan of $700 changed my life. I was able to work, and was then able to pay down debt. I eventually graduated from college, still driving that car. I wish I could call that man today and thank him for helping me turn things around. And, I wish I could change the script for all those in need. I can’t do that alone, but organizations like this one allow us to all pool what we have, or what we can do. They allow support for those individuals in need to come from a group of neighbors who decided that their lives were worth it.

Let’s work together to be those people.

Philanthropic kids get creative, then get busy.

My children and I tend to bring a trash bag with us whenever we go into the woods. Human access leads to trash being dumped. We have upped our game and started taking walks and hikes with the express intent of cleaning the world. It’s their idea and I think therapeutic: It’s a tangible something they can DO to affect the state of our world.

I have always known that kids aren’t stupid, they’re just young. Because of COVID-19, kids across the country, and around the world, are out of school with a lot of free time on their hands. It’s not surprising that they are coming up with a lot of ideas about how to affect positive change in the world they will inherit. With the support of adults around them, they are working to make change happen. Big or small, I know their efforts are the right thing to do, for them and the people they serve. Follow the hyperlinks to articles for more detail on each story.

This young woman began hosting bake sales to raise money for Parkinson’s disease research. Inspired by a family who suffers from the horrible disease, she’s working to make sure others can have more effective treatments.

These Girl Scouts are collecting supplies to donate to the local animal shelter. They had plans to complete a group service project, but COVID-19 meant that they had to get creative with their project.

This young man started providing PPE to his community as an Eagle-scout project. He just couldn’t sit by doing nothing when he knew there were shortages happening.

I’m so proud of these young people getting out there to serve their communities despite the challenges of the pandemic. I look forward to the thoughts they will have about the world after this experience. Are you getting out to serve in your area? Comment below with your ideas!